As anybody in education will recognise, there are a number of personal sacrifices that have to be made for the job. These can often be small things, like not going out for a beer with friends, to missing key milestone events in your family's life. This blog aims to explore the sacrifices I have made, why I made those decisions, would I do it again and ultimately, is it worth it?
For me, the sacrifices began back in my time at University. Teaching placements were so hard core and intense, I would lock myself away for the whole time. I would work 15 hour days, all weekend and ended up missing a number of nights out with my friends. I have to admit, I was so jealous of listening to their stories and was often tempted to join them, but ultimately I never did. I was always focused on becoming the best teacher that I could be and this felt like a small price to pay. I learnt from these formative years that teaching is all encompassing and it is very easy to let it take over your life. I did not heed these warnings in my early years, but I do believe I am developing a better work life balance.
Another big sacrifice that is made is the lack of flexibility in our year. Yes we have lots of "holidays" but these are set for us. We cannot decide to take a long weekend away with our family, or go on a stag do with our friends or go to a friends wedding on a Friday, if these fall in term time. Everybody else can do this, and I have missed some important events because of this lack of flexibility. Yes, it is possible to ask for time off for a special event, but for me, this would have to be extremely special to do this. It has made me appreciate it when I can go to some events in the holidays and I enjoy them even more for this.
I have also sacrificed my own health and well being on a number of occasions. I have stopped exercising at times, I have missed doctors appointments, I have not put myself first and I have not looked after my own mental health. I have explained on a number of posts that I have mental health difficulties at times, and these are often exacerbated by the strains and rigours of the job. I should notice the signs of these, but often the job needs doing, so I will prioritise this rather than looking after me. I know that this is not healthy, I know that it should not happen but I also know that my role, and what I do, is too important for the children to not do it. It is one of those rock and hard place scenarios that you can never square off.
My family have also lost a lot of me time. I have often put my work before my family, and writing this embarrasses me. I know I shouldn't, I would always advise others to put their family first and actively encourage my staff to do so. However, I have missed my son's birthday celebrations because of a trip, I have missed a baby scan for a child protection meeting, I have missed a family birthday celebration for a meeting with a parent. I know I am missing some key events in my child's life, but I cannot see any other way around this. I try to be there for them, but often times I am mentally absent. I do not shut off from work at all and need to be better at this. My wife will often be sat on her own in the lounge whilst I am still working, or not talking because I am still thinking things through. I have to be better and keeping work at work and home at home and it is something I will be working on. I do keep somethings for myself - I am a massive football fan and do go an watch my team on regular basis (although this does sometimes cause issues as my priorities are work, football and family... but that is a whole other discussion!)
Finally, and one that is not often discussed is financial sacrifices. As teachers our salaries are OK, they are better than that average. However, we are quite poorly remunerated for the work we do and our level of qualifications. We are highly skilled graduates with a number of transferable skills, but our pay does not match that. If I worked in a job with similar responsibilities in the private sector I would expect a salary of up to double what I am being paid. This is not a big sacrifice to me, as the level of duty and job satisfaction far outweighs the financial aspects, although it would be wonderful to be able to provide for my family.
So the burning question has to be - "Are these sacrifices worth it?" For me, yes it is, but with some modifications to the way I manage my relationship with work. We are in the best job in the world and the positive moments, such as knowing you have helped a child make progress, knowing you have supported a family, knowing you have supported a teacher to become a better practitioner fill me with pride and joy. I know that what I do makes a difference and has a positive impact on so many people. I am actually looking forward to the challenges that next year will bring to, and I am sure more sacrifices will have to be made, which I will do gladly.
However, I have to qualify this with this joy should not come at detriment to my family. I have to make sure that I am there for them and that when I am home, I am home. This is easier said than done, but I have to be better at this part of the deal. My family support me through the tough times so it is the least I owe them.
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