I hope you don't mind, but I use this blog for me. It probably will never be a blog where I share fabulous ideas and resources, but what it is, is a cathartic blog for me to share my thoughts and feelings. I always hope that my often random thoughts come together in some of coherent blog and if people enjoy reading them or get something from it that is a bonus.
Anybody who follows me on Twitter knows that I am very open with my feelings, often speak from the heart (and sometimes regret it) and share my own battles and personal demons. I have an anxiety disorder, which I take medication for, and most days I have it under control. After lots of hard work and CBT, I am now quite good at spotting my triggers and know when to take a step back. However, sometimes I miss these triggers and can slip into a depressive state and that is where I am lucky that I have a wonderful wife who saves me every time - sometimes by speaking kindly to me, sometimes by encouraging me to spot the good, and sometimes by being a bit forceful with her advice.
To be honest, this past few weeks has got to me and I have not been the best husband or father. The constant pressure from the press, the government and the teacher bashing has upset me, not just for me, but for the profession as a whole. To make matters worse, I am not sleeping and I am working too much, resulting in me not taking very good care of myself. I have put my school above me, and I know this cannot last too much longer, but I have a burning desire to keep my staff and children as safe as I possibly can. I know this is what is driving us all on.
I would like to spend some time saying things that many people are saying this at the moment, so these are my words to you - the amazing people who work in our schools.
To the head teachers who are working your hardest to ensure your communities are safe, I am in awe of you. Seeing the amazing work you are doing on Twitter, seeing the care and love you have, seeing your dedication is nothing but heroic, and I do mean that. It pushes me on to be a better me, and I hope to be half as good as you. Your ability to share, support each other and help people is superb. Please know you are appreciated, and to make sure you look after you as well as everybody else.
To the teachers who have worked tirelessly to ensure children are cared for, are receiving remote education and still fell part of the community; I salute you. Your dedication to the cause cannot be questioned, although some will try. You are part of a proud and underappreciated profession. Please do not let the naysayers diminish the sense of pride you should feel in yourselves. You have produced miracles to still educate the children in your care, often alongside looking after your own children, and I do not know how you do it.
To the Teaching Assistants, office staff, support staff and site staff in schools; you are the glue that holds us all together and you cannot and should not underestimate your importance throughout this crisis. Without you, we could not have provided support to key worker and priority children; we could not have kept our schools safe and hygienic; we could not have worked through the Free School Meal voucher debacle; we could not have supported our families to apply for benefits; we could not have maintained contact with our children; we could not have kept IT systems running; and we could not have prepared our site for more children come in. Hold your heads high - you are valued so much by your schools.
To the governors who have worked tirelessly to support head teachers, understand guidance and try to continue some form of order at the top end of school management - thank you. Your voluntary role is often neglected, but I know you have done so much to support the staff in schools, been a critical friend and given suggestions to move things forward.
Part of me worries about the future of our profession, and after a discussion tonight, I know this is shared by other head teachers. We are working in unprecedented times and I believe when we come out of the other side of this there will be a number of teachers and school leaders who will be burnt out and will consider whether this is the job for them. I would urge anybody who feels like to to revisit your why. Why did you start doing this job? Does that still burn deep inside you? If so, don't walk away from it. We can negotiate the rest of the crap together - get to your why and stick to it. We have done so much good through this crisis and I would hate to think that it has potentially made some inspirational people leave.
I honestly mean it when I say that everybody in schools inspire me daily and keep me pushing forward for my school and community; so for that, I thank you.
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